Thoughtfulness plays a vital role in fostering strong communities and meaningful connections. To explore how Americans express thoughtfulness — and which states lead the way — we surveyed 1,000 U.S. citizens. Here’s what we found.
Key Findings
- Washington D.C., Washington, Arizona, Wisconsin, and Maryland rank as the most thoughtful states in the country.
- Arkansas, North Dakota, Rhode Island, Alaska, and Mississippi rank as the least thoughtful.
- More than 2 in 5 Americans have quit a job due to feeling unappreciated, including 55% of Gen Z, the highest of any generation.
- Millennials are America’s most generous generation — 1 in 4 give their friends a gift every month.
- 1 in 10 Gen Zers say they’re often let down by the gifts they receive.
- 61% of Americans say they don’t volunteer any of their time.
- 43% of Americans say it’s uncommon for strangers to be considerate.
Thoughtfulness Across the U.S.
The 10 Most Thoughtful States
We analyzed Google Trends data to see how often people in each state searched for thoughtful topics like “appreciation”, “charities near me” and “volunteering.” The more they searched, the higher they ranked in our list.
1. Washington, D.C.
Thoughtful Index Score: 49.07
Washington, D.C. ranks as America’s most thoughtful state, fueled by exceptional interest in volunteering, mutual aid, and charitable giving. Google searches related to personalized gifts and acts of service — two love languages tied to care and empathy — surged in the region, reflecting how D.C. residents are showing up for both loved ones and their communities.
2. Washington
Thoughtful Index Score: 48.93
The Evergreen State takes second place for thoughtfulness due to its strong interest in employee appreciation, food bank donations, and animal rescue. Its balanced interest in nearly every thoughtfulness topic highlights a statewide culture of compassion and activism.
3. Arizona
Thoughtful Index Score: 47.00
Arizona comes in as the nation’s third most thoughtful state, with many searches related to donations and interpersonal connection styles, suggesting both personal and public forms of thoughtfulness. The state also shows above-average interest in charities, volunteering, and animal welfare, indicating a well-rounded, thoughtful population.
4. Wisconsin
Thoughtful Index Score: 46.93
Wisconsin, nicknamed “America’s Dairyland,” is a leader in humane society searches, reflecting a deep concern for animal welfare. Strong interest in volunteering and charities suggests a commitment to local communities, while interest in employee appreciation and love languages points to thoughtful interpersonal relationships.
5. Maryland
Thoughtful Index Score: 45.07
Maryland ranks well due to its balanced interest across giving and relational topics. It demonstrates a particularly high interest in charities, volunteering, and love languages, reflecting a compassionate and civically active population. Its blend of urban and suburban environments may contribute to this diverse thoughtfulness profile.
6. Colorado
Thoughtful Index Score: 45.04
Colorado stands out for its strong interest in donation tax deduction, employee appreciation, and personalized gifts. The state is known for its socially aware and engaged communities, reflected in its above-average interest in mutual aid and animal rescue as well.
7. Nevada
Thoughtful Index Score: 43.50
Nevada’s placement in the top 10 is driven by its nation-leading search interest in donation drop-offs. The state also shows strong civic engagement with its high interest in charities and love languages, suggesting a surprising depth of thoughtfulness.
8. Oregon
Thoughtful Index Score: 43.00
Oregon ranks high due to its searches for food bank donations, humane societies, and volunteering. Known for its progressive and community-focused ethos, the state’s strong interest in mutual aid and personalized giving rounds out its thoughtful scorecard.
9. Idaho
Thoughtful Index Score: 42.57
Idaho scores particularly high in love languages and acts of service, indicating a strong relational and emotional focus. Although lower on charitable infrastructure terms, its high personal connection metrics boost its overall ranking.
10. Minnesota
Thoughtful Index Score: 42.21
Minnesota combines solid civic and emotional engagement. High interest in employee appreciation, volunteering, and animal rescue reflects a culture of care, both within communities and families. The state performs steadily across all metrics without major weaknesses.
The 10 Least Thoughtful States
Google Trends data shows that some states search less for topics like giving gifts or showing thanks. This doesn’t mean residents lack kindness — they may just express it differently or in less visible ways — but it does mean they were ranked lower on our list.
1. Arkansas
Thoughtful Index Score: 23.86
Arkansas ranks dead last for thoughtfulness nationwide, with extremely low interest in nearly all giving-related categories, especially food bank donations and donation drop-offs. Though there’s some moderate interest in employee appreciation, its lack of broader civic engagement dragged its score down.
2. North Dakota
Thoughtful Index Score: 24.79
North Dakota ranks just above Arkansas when it comes to thoughtfulness. It doesn’t have much interest in searches for nearby charities, food bank donations, and mutual aid. Limited interest in charitable actions and interpersonal topics like love languages also contributed to its low ranking.
3. Rhode Island
Thoughtful Index Score: 24.93
Rhode Island shows underwhelming engagement with thoughtful topics, earning its placement near the bottom of the list. Residents haven’t searched much for things like charities, mutual aid, and donation tax deductions, reflecting a lack of civic digital activity during the measured period.
4. Alaska
Thoughtful Index Score: 25.50
Alaska shows low search interest in volunteering and nearby charities. Though a decent number of residents are searching for topics related to employee appreciation, the lack of broader community engagement interest kept its ranking low.
5. Mississippi
Thoughtful Index Score: 25.71
Mississippi rounds out the bottom five largely because residents don’t seem to be interested in topics related to charitable giving, donation tax deductions, and volunteering. However, interest in personal connection terms like love languages is fairly moderate, but the overall lack of community engagement is pronounced.
6. Wyoming
Thoughtful Index Score: 26.50
Wyoming, like many rural states, scores lowest on donation infrastructure and community search terms. Searches related to volunteering and acts of service were notably scarce, keeping the state near the bottom.
7. Montana
Thoughtful Index Score: 26.93
Montana underperforms in searches for charities near me, donation drop-offs, and mutual aid. Its strength lies in love languages and employee appreciation, but overall charitable search interest was lacking.
8. South Dakota
Thoughtful Index Score: 27.07
Similar to its northern neighbor, South Dakota suffers from a lack of interest in community and donation-related searches. Weak performance in volunteering and donation infrastructure searches also weighed it down despite some signs of interpersonal thoughtfulness.
9. Vermont
Thoughtful Index Score: 29.57
Vermont is a surprising bottom-dweller given its liberal reputation. Strong in love languages and employee appreciation, the state showed minimal interest in food-related giving, mutual aid, and donation drop-offs, which ultimately affected its ranking.
10. Alabama
Thoughtful Index Score: 30.86
Alabama rounds out the bottom 10. While it shows moderate interest in charities and employee appreciation, it scored low across most other metrics. Weak interest in food bank donations, mutual aid, and personalized gifts drove its score down.
Beyond the Holidays: Why 46% of Millennials Give “Just Because”
For nearly 1 in 4 Americans (23%), gift-giving is reserved exclusively for the holiday season or birthdays.
Millennials lead the charge in off-season gifting: 85% give gifts outside of holidays, and 1 in 4 make it a monthly habit. Gender gaps also emerge — men are 36% more likely than women to gift friends each month, while 1 in 4 women avoid gifting outside of birthdays or holidays altogether.
Is Gift-Giving Actually Thoughtful?
51% say yes and give gifts to show their appreciation for others. Another 30% enjoy the thrill of surprising someone with a thoughtful present.
But beneath the surface, gift-giving isn’t always joyful. Nearly half of Americans (43%) feel pressured to give, even when it strains their budget. Gen Z feels this pressure the most, as 61% have overspent on gifts to avoid disappointing others, compared to just 30% of baby boomers.
Regardless of Americans’ reasons for giving, one thing is clear: Americans spend billions of dollars on gifts every year. More than one-quarter (27%) spend between $26-$50 per gift, while 29% say they spend over $50 on their loved ones.
- Millennials are the most likely to splurge when buying gifts: 1 in 10 spends an average of over $100 when buying a gift for someone.
- Baby boomers spend the least on gifts: 49% spend between $10-$50 per gift for their friends/family.
- Half of Gen Z say they spend between $26-$100 on gifts.
When Good Gifts Go Bad: 1 in 3 Gen Xers Admit to Re‑Gifting
Gifts never disappointed 3 in 10 Americans — for them, it’s the thought that counts. Another 30% are usually overjoyed with the gifts they receive but a few duds have slipped through the cracks.
But not everyone walks away happy: 1 in 10 Gen Zers say the gifts they receive are often unwanted — nearly triple the rate of baby boomers.
Though most Americans have mastered the art of showing appreciation, the real problem may be thoughtless giving, not thankless receiving:
But what happens when gifts fall flat? For some, re-gifting is the ideal guilt-free solution:
Additionally, one-quarter of millennial women love giving second-hand gifts.
That said, 71% of Americans agree: there’s nothing wrong with a second-hand gift. Additionally, 1 in 6 people say they love receiving vintage gifts and wish they gave out more thrifted presents themselves.
Listening Beats Loot: The #1 Sign of Thoughtfulness in Every State
Just over 1 in 4 Americans (29%) say that an unexpected, meaningful gift is the most thoughtful gesture a friend can make. However, for 60% of Americans, their loved one’s presence is the only present they need.
Most people also believe that listening well and volunteering are hallmarks of thoughtfulness:
However, not everyone agrees here:
- Women are 18% more likely than men to view remembering birthdays and anniversaries as a sign of thoughtfulness.
- Gen Z is over 4 times more likely than baby boomers to associate frequent gift-giving with thoughtfulness.
- Baby boomers are 53% more likely than millennials to value a handwritten message as a thoughtful gesture.
Everyone likes receiving a gift, but the real impact of a present comes from intention. Just over 1 in 3 Americans (37%) say a personalized gift, delivered in person, is the most thoughtful gesture a friend can make. Another 31% say nothing beats a handwritten note — proof that, in an age of digital convenience, a simple letter still holds power.
The Generosity Gap: Boomers 4 Times More Likely To Give $500+ a Year
Thoughtfulness doesn’t end with friends and family — many Americans extend their generosity to strangers in need. In fact, two-thirds of Americans (67%) have made a charitable donation in the past year. Notable givers include:
Baby boomer men are the most likely to donate; 77% have given to charitable causes this past year. Conversely, Gen Z women are the least likely to donate — 46% haven’t given this past year and one-quarter have never donated to charity.
Children’s charities are the closest to Americans’ hearts, with roughly one-quarter (24%) saying they’re most likely to support family-focused organizations. Others are moved during times of crisis: over 1 in 10 people prefer to support disaster relief funds and 11% say they’re most likely to donate their income to homelessness shelters.
Most Americans feel morally obligated to donate to charity, but their reasons for donating vary widely:
- 40% would only donate to a cause they care deeply about.
- Just over 1 in 5 (22%) donate when their faith moves them.
- For many, a personal connection makes all the difference: 1 in 7 say they donate when they resonate with an impactful story.
- 1 in 10 would give if there were a crisis or natural disaster in the news.
87% of Americans are open to donating to charity and would do so in the right circumstances. However, people’s reasoning for donating varies widely by generation:
Baby boomers are 2.5 times more likely than Gen Z to support a disaster relief fund, while over 2 in 5 Gen Zers donate to charitable causes because they deeply care about the issue.
Though Americans are interested in donating to charities, they’re unwilling to give up their precious time — 61% don’t volunteer at all. Of those who do, most keep their commitments under 10 hours each month:
- 14% give 1-2 hours monthly.
- 13% volunteer for 3-5 hours.
- 8% spend 6-10 hours volunteering.
- Only 2% volunteer more than 20 hours per month.
Millennials are the most likely to volunteer — 50% more likely than baby boomers. Gen Z is close behind them, with 42% giving up to 10 hours monthly.
Income also plays a major role: Half of high earners (over $150,000) volunteer each month, making them 46% more likely to give their time than those earning under $50,000. This points to a striking imbalance — where generosity may be shaped by both values and privilege.
Appreciation or Attrition? Half of Gen Z Has Quit Over Feeling Undervalued
In the workplace, recognition can be the difference between retention and resignation. 2 in 5 Americans (42%) have quit a job because they didn’t feel appreciated at work. Among those who’ve moved on to greener pastures, 91% are glad they left.
Younger generations, in particular, are walking away from jobs where they don’t feel seen:
- 55% of Gen Z employees have quit a job because they didn’t feel appreciated at work.
- 47% of millennials have left their workplace because they felt undervalued.
- Less than one-third of baby boomers (31%) have quit due to underappreciation.
Younger Americans aren’t afraid to leave a job if they feel they’re undervalued. However, many people don’t have the financial freedom to quit — 1 in 5 Americans want to leave their job, but can’t afford to quit.
Perks, Pizza, or Pay? What Really Makes Workers Feel Valued
Employee appreciation is the key to success, but 41% of Americans say their employer doesn’t give them the recognition they deserve. One-quarter of U.S. workers say the recognition they receive is impersonal, and 1 in 6 say they’re completely overlooked at work.
The issue often starts with management. Among those with a boss, 36% say their direct manager isn’t particularly thoughtful, and 16% can’t remember the last time their manager did something kind for them. That lack of recognition has consequences — when employees feel unseen, motivation and morale plummet.
Not all generations agree on the best way to show appreciation at work, if appreciation is shown at all. A startling 1 in 5 Gen Zers, as well as Gen Xers, have never received a meaningful gift or gesture from their boss.
Managers looking to re-engage disgruntled employees can turn to a tried-and-tested tactic: personalized gifts. 48% of employees are grateful for branded gifts, taking it as a sign their employer cares about them. Unique employee gifts, like journals and caps, embed a culture of gratitude at work, enhance job satisfaction, and can turn the tide and leave a lasting impression on employees who value recognition.
Kindness in Public: Millennials Over Twice as Likely as Gen Z To Stop and Help
Most Americans still believe in the goodness of others; 57% say people are generally thoughtful and considerate. 1 in 5 regularly experience random acts of kindness in public, from small gestures to meaningful moments. Only 10% describe strangers as “indifferent” or “self-focused,” showing that everyday compassion still shapes how Americans view the world around them.
Millions of Americans say they’re willing to step in and help a stranger. Nearly three-quarters (73%) would take action if they saw someone in distress. 2 in 5 would offer direct help to someone with car trouble or visible injuries, while 1 in 3 would contact emergency services or alert nearby security to ensure the person received care. However, the willingness to assist a stranger varies significantly across generations.
The majority of Americans are open to helping someone experience homelessness, too. Three-quarters stop to offer food, money, or conversation to those who are unhoused:
- Millennials are 3 times more likely than baby boomers to stop for every unhoused person who asks for help.
- 1 in 5 Gen Zers offers support to someone experiencing homelessness every week.
- Gen Z is over 3 times more likely than baby boomers to help weekly — only 6% of boomers say they do.
- One-fifth of baby boomers say they rarely encounter unhoused people, and 1 in 10 say they never stop to assist.
- Americans earning over $150,000 are twice as likely to ignore homeless people compared to those earning between $100,000-$150,000.
- Those earning under $50,000 are the most likely of any income group to offer help every time they see someone in need.
- Men are 50% more likely than women to help an unhoused person in a given week.
The 2024 Annual Homelessness Assessment Report, published by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, shows that homelessness is at an all-time high in Northeastern cities like New York. However, one-fifth of those living in the Northeastern States reported that they rarely encounter unhoused people.
Homelessness is an issue that requires collective action. Contrary to popular belief, the average American does care about supporting the unhoused population — 3 in 5 Americans say they stop to help those experiencing homelessness a few times a year.
Love, Likes, and Loyalty: Where Thoughtfulness Thrives in Relationships
Dating in America often feels more cold than caring — 41% of people currently dating say their city’s dating scene is superficial, transactional, and lacking in emotional depth. Only 18% say the people they date are genuinely thoughtful and emotionally generous, while 42% describe their dating experiences as hit or miss.
Gen Z has the best odds of finding a thoughtful partner, as 43% have been on a date with someone genuinely considerate, compared to just 12% of baby boomers.
Fortunately, thoughtfulness still thrives in established relationships. Most Americans (57%) say their in-person friends and family are more thoughtful than online connections, proving that real-world relationships still carry the deepest meaning.
However, online relationships are flourishing, and for many, they’re just as meaningful. One-third of Americans (33%) say their online friends are just as thoughtful and considerate as those they know in person.
Among Gen Z, that bond runs even deeper. More than 1 in 6 (18%) say their online friends are more considerate than their real-life relationships, making them 10 times more likely than baby boomers to feel closer to their digital circles.
The growing reliance on online friendships may be taking a toll on real-world connections. 60% of Americans who celebrate their birthday say that someone important to them forgot their birthday last year.
Gen Z is the most likely generation to feel forgotten on their birthday. 70% say someone important to them forgot their birthday last year, and nearly a quarter say their best friend failed to celebrate.
But the breakdown isn’t just among peers — sometimes it starts at home. 1 in 5 Gen Zers (18%) say their parents forgot their birthday, challenging the notion that older generations are always the most thoughtful.
Meanwhile, birthday enthusiasm is fading for some. Nearly 1 in 5 baby boomers (19%) say they no longer celebrate, compared to 1 in 7 millennials (14%). Still, boomers aren’t being overlooked — 58% say all of their friends and family remembered their birthday last year, proving that America continues to show up for older generations.
Methodology
On the 11th of April 2025, we used Pollfish to survey 1,000 Americans from across the U.S. Our survey asked participants to rank the most thoughtful gifts they’d received and explored trends related to gift giving, volunteering, and charitable donations. We cross-referenced our results against Google Trends data for thoughtfulness-related keywords to determine which states were the most thoughtful.
Fair Use Policy
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